An unsent e-mail from me to him:
I have a couple of very grave concerns.
Given the circumstances you are behaving very strangely, and I am worried about you moving too quickly. First you stuck a bomb under our marriage. There was no time to discuss or to heal or to comprehend. And now, within days, you are planning on moving in with someone you have only known for six weeks. As I said to you on the phone, if, as you say, she is the love of your life, there is no need to rush things. That love will endure and would survive a period of courtship.
You’ve only known about this love for two weeks.
There is no circumstance under which what you are doing is intelligible. Try telling people about it. See what they say. I can’t imagine that many people would think it’s romantic. I think most would think it’s insane.
It shows a huge lack of judgement on your part, and also a total lack of impulse control.
The worst thing is that you are either encouraging this woman to abandon a one and a five year old. Or else you are encouraging her to move them in with you. You may feel like soul mates, but you really don’t know each other. Children’s lives shouldn’t be toyed with like this. And if she is not responsible or mature enough to protect her own children from her own impetuous behaviour, I would have at least thought that you would have both the moral and common sense to do so. I don’t recognise you.
You are not behaving like a rational or a reasonable person. Maybe you don’t want to. But it is a huge cause for concern for everyone that cares about you, including me. You have shut everybody out. And I can only assume that this is because you don’t want to have to talk or tell the truth about what you’ve done and listen to the opinions of people that might think that you are taking enormous and reckless risks.
This doesn’t just affect you. It affects me, and it affects our friends and families, who are sad and shocked, and sorry that you won’t answer their calls.