I am breaking in pieces

StockSnap_UE3MIBD75NDear J**,

When you came to visit this weekend, I thought that maybe you would come to your senses.  You met someone six (well, now seven) weeks ago.  You started some smoochy talk two weeks ago.  You left me a week ago because you thought you could have a better life with her.  Even if I wasn’t an abandoned and desperate wife, I would think that was crazy.  I would think that you had lost your fucking mind.

But you think it’s ok.  You think it makes sense.  Although we are good together,  and we are kind and respectful and the very best of friends.   You don’t think it’s about sex.  But how can it be about anything else?  The whole world is upside down to me.  You, my sweet, kind friend.  Leaving everything behind, without a backwards glance, causing so much pain and hurt for you and for me and for family and friends.  To a “spiritual connection” with someone that you have been flirting with for three weeks.  To what you think will be an exciting new future.

StockSnap_BEPV6HLUKUI wish I could understand.  I wish I could accept.  I wish I cared about my own life anymore. I wish that I didn’t care about you.  I wish that I didn’t have these feelings of disgust and disappointment in you.  I wish I believed that life goes on and that I will be happy.  I wish that I didn’t think that you were insane and might snap out of it, because I think I know deep down that you won’t.

You are breaking me.

J****

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